Winning the Inner Negotiation - Where do I start?

"Start where you are,

Use what you have,

Do what you can" - Arthur Ase

The Context

I'm not immune to the inner negotiation you experience. It happens to all of us—that pesky little voice in our heads that makes us doubt who we are and what we're capable of.

But here’s the truth: we are capable of so much more than we allow ourselves to believe. Too often, we let that pesky voice drown out our authentic, conscious expression, keeping us from starting the journeys that lead to the destinations we desire.

My context? I’ve wanted to write more prolifically, yet I’ve hesitated.

I’ve written three books, and still, I question whether I’m a good enough writer or whether I have something valuable to say. Instead of questioning my thoughts, I’ve wasted precious time questioning my capabilities and potential contribution.

Here’s an example of what my pesky voice whispers:
"With more people using AI, what’s the point of me even trying to write? Technology can do it better."

Do you question your capabilities, too?
Do you talk yourself out of things you truly want to do?

It sucks, doesn’t it?

But we can, and we must, do better.

The Commitment

What I've realised, through lots of wasted hours getting in my own way, is that I've often, sometimes subconsciously, let fear and overwhelm dictate my actions, or this case, inaction.

Instead, I should have been choosing and commiting to my future self, and aligning my actions (even small ones) and my character with that vision.

My vision? To be a professional author focused on writing about personal growth and transformation.

To achieve this, I need to act from that future perspective and ask myself: Do my actions move me closer to my vision or further away?

If I don’t write, it’s obvious I won’t move closer to that vision.

Your Turn

Take a moment right now to ask yourself:

• What is your vision for your future self?
• What kind of character do you need to commit to becoming?
• Are your actions today moving you closer to or further away from that vision?

The Courage

Once we commit, we need the courage to follow through. Writing this newsletter is my courage move.

I’ve been writing this Inside Edge newsletter on and off for a year, but I haven’t been consistent.

Why? When I reflected, I realised it was because I felt pressure—pressure to sound intelligent, say something profound, or deliver maximum value—even though I didn’t know exactly what my readers wanted from me.

But here’s the shift: I’ve decided to write from a place of sharing, not teaching.

Why? Because I want the freedom to grow too. I don’t want to be put on a pedestal just because I have deep knowledge in certain areas. Instead, I want to share the realities and challenges of personal growth—whether in negotiation or in the broader human experience.

The more I learn, the deeper I go, the more I realise how much I don't know. And that’s okay.

So, this newsletter is my reset. I’m recommitting to my future self, and I’m showing up authentically as who I am.

Your Turn

• If you were to make a bold move to reset your path and move powerfully toward your future self, what would that courage move be?

The Capability

I’ve written three non-fiction books across three genres. Each one has improved my capability as a writer.

The toughest one so far? The Negotiation Playbook. I knew a lot about negotiation because it’s what I make a living from, but I knew nothing about writing a business book.

The choice to commit—and the courage to act—sharpened my skills and built my capability as an author. I know I’ll continue to build that capability only if I keep showing up and writing the next book.

Your Turn

• What do you want to build capability in?
• What will you need to commit to?
• What courage will it take to begin?

The Confidence

Confidence come from the steps we've already discussed:

1. Understanding your Context
2. Making a Commitment
3. Having the Courage to follow through
4. Developing Capability through action

I have more confidence now in writing this newsletter and tackling my next book because I’ve honored these steps.

Looking back, I’ve been writing a personal blog for seven years. I rarely miss a week. Why? Because I’m not trying to be anyone else there—I’m just being me.

Somewhere along the way, though, I felt pressure to be seen a certain way in my professional life. But the truth is, the only way I want to be seen is as I truly am.

So, that’s what I’m showing you now: my authentic self. Whether or not you find value in what I share is up to you, but I know this—writing from an authentic place of sharing, not solely teaching or being the expert, feels so right.

Your Turn

• What do you want the confidence to do or become?
• Do you understand your context?
• Are you ready to make a comittment?
• Will you take first courage move?
• Are you open to building capability through consistent action?

The Character

Thanks for allowing me into your inbox to share this Inside Edge with you.

When I named this newsletter Inside Edge, I had no idea how true that sentiment would be. For our true character to emerge, we must trust our inside edge—being who we know we are and doing what we believe we’re here to do.

Ultimately through our context, our commitments, courage and capability we shape our character. While this is the outcome it's also the destination we choose before we commit to taking action. 

Your Turn

• What is your true character?
• How will you close the gap between how you appear and who you truly are?

This is your Inside Edge. Together, we’ll create more valuable agreements—starting with the ones we make with ourselves.

Keep going and keep growing.

Glin 💛