In a nutshell, we negotiate because we can't maximise the value we get for ourselves and the value we give to others if we avoid it. 

• For Ourselves: Benefits of Negotiation

By negotiating, we might secure higher salaries, gain flexible working hours, or achieve better terms in business deals—enhancing our quality of life and professional satisfaction.

• For Others: Providing Value Through Negotiation

On the other hand, our negotiation skills can lead to providing more value in terms of creating better deals, fostering partnerships that offer mutual growth, or even helping resolve conflicts in ways that benefit all parties involved.

The Misunderstanding of Negotiation 

Much like the teenage versions of ourselves, negotiation is very much misunderstood! It's often associated with outdated stereotypes of strategic power plays, manipulative mind games, and aggressive bargaining.

Negotiation is simply a conversation aimed reaching an agreement.

Something most of us do every day without realising we’re negotiating, and yet, surprisingly, it’s a skill many, including some of the most powerful leaders in the world, fail to master.  

The Challenge: Why Many Fail at Negotiation

There is a reason why most of us will fail to get good at negotiation. And it's because the key difference between a negotiation and a regular conversation is Intentionality. 

This includes:

• Preparation: Intentionally planning what to say and do, and equally importantly, when and where to say and do it.
• Understanding: Grasping the 'why' behind your words and actions, as well as the 'how' they should be delivered.
• Contextualising: Considering who you are communicating with and determining the best approach for the interaction.
• Purpose: Every conversation aimed at agreement needs a clear objective and understanding of what each party seeks to achieve.
• Application: Applying this intentional approach in all aspects of life, whether with romantic partners, family, friends, colleagues, customers, or any other stakeholders. 

The main point is that not being intentional is often why we don't get the agreements we want. However, by focussing on these key areas we can improve our outcomes exponentially.

Are you ready to sharpen your negotiation skills?

Start by reflecting on your recent conversations. Identify one area where you could have been more intentional. If you had the opportunity for a do-over what steps would you take next time to improve? Practice makes progress, and with each conversation, you'll grow more confident and proficient in your negotiation abilities.