What you fear about negotiating and what to do about it

Negotiation is a common aspect of our daily lives, whether it’s at work, with friends, or even with our own family. Despite its prevalence, many people are still apprehensive when it comes to negotiation. This fear can be caused by a variety of factors and can greatly impact one’s confidence and success in negotiations.

1. Fear of Rejection: This is one of the most common fears associated with negotiations. People are afraid of being rejected or told no. This fear can prevent individuals from asking for what they want or making a counter-offer.

2. Fear of looking bad: Another common fear is that of looking foolish or unprofessional during the negotiation process. This fear can lead to individuals being too passive or giving in too easily.

3. Fear of looking incompetent: Some individuals may fear that they don’t have the skills or knowledge to effectively negotiate. This can lead to a lack of confidence and a sense of inadequacy.

4. Fear of seeming inappropriate: People may also worry about making a wrong move or saying something that comes across as inappropriate. This fear can lead to individuals being too hesitant to engage in negotiations.

5. Fear of not being valued: Negotiations often involve discussions about compensation, benefits, or terms and conditions. This can lead to individuals feeling like they are not valued or appreciated for their contribution.

6. Fear of conflict: Conflict is a natural part of negotiations. However, many people fear that conflict will escalate and lead to a breakdown in the negotiation process.

7. Fear of not having enough information: People may feel that they don’t have all the necessary information to effectively negotiate. This can lead to a sense of uncertainty and insecurity.

8. Fear of not knowing what to say or do: This is a common fear that many individuals face when entering into negotiations. People may be unsure of what to say or do in order to achieve their goals.

9. Fear of the unknown: Lastly, the fear of the unknown can be a major barrier to negotiations. People may be apprehensive about what the outcome of the negotiation will be and what it will mean for their future.

So, what can be done to overcome these fears? Here are some tips to help you prepare for and conquer your fears during negotiations:

1. Prepare thoroughly: One of the best ways to reduce fear in negotiations is to be well-prepared. Research the other party, their needs and interests, and think through potential scenarios and outcomes. This will give you a sense of control and make you feel more confident.
2. Focus on your goals: Keep your goals in mind and remind yourself of why you are negotiating. This can help you stay focused and avoid being distracted by fear or anxiety.
3. Practice active listening: Listen carefully to the other party's needs and concerns. This will help you understand their perspective and identify opportunities for compromise or collaboration. Active listening can also help you build rapport and establish trust, which can reduce fear and anxiety.
4. Use positive self-talk: Negative self-talk can feed into fear and anxiety, so try to use positive self-talk to build confidence. Remind yourself of your strengths, achievements, and past successes, and tell yourself that you are capable of negotiating successfully.
5. Take breaks/ pause: Negotiations can be intense, and it's important to take breaks to clear your mind and reduce stress. Go for a walk, pause and take deep breaths, or engage in other activities that help you calm your nervous system.
6. Seek support: If you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, consider seeking support from a mentor, colleague, or professional. Talking through your fears with someone else can help you gain perspective and find new ways to approach the negotiation.

The bottom line, fear is a natural part of negotiations. However, by taking the time to prepare, focusing on your goals, practicing active listening and positive self-talk, and taking time to reflect and seek support where needed, you can overcome your fears and become the 'go to' value negotiator for your business.